interview by yasmin belkhyr

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Something I wish I did when I was 16 is... give myself more orgasms.

Last thing I was nervous about... was an outline being good or horrible.

What's your go-to dare in Truth or Dare?... I dare you... to be vulnerable, MAN. Yeah, I usually dare truths, honestly. I love really good truths.

Make up a nail polish color that describes you first thing in the morning... "Roll Out.” I roll outta bed, onto a bike, and I zoom to work. "Roll Out" is a color that makes the wearer feel effortlessly cool ;)

What were you doing the last time you completely lost track of time?... I was in Mexico, and there was no wifi. FUCK TIME.

What do you consider a universal rite of passage?... Smoking a blunt.

Your least favorite vacation involved... a cruise and my adolescence.

Weirdest job you've ever had?... I’ve just waitressed so much and like, waitressing isn’t weird, but when you waitress it GETS weird. So, usually It’s just serving people who are clearly alcoholics that’s strange to me..that feels weird and bad. It's insane that it's legal to just nourish alcoholism. And it's like... patriotic or something? Bizarre.

One sentence I could go without my life without ever hearing again is… “Fuck you.”

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Ilana Glazer is a writer and actress best known for the TV series Broad City. The show's fourth season premieres on September 13.